Plan B is the new Plan A
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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