Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just forgot I was standing up.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
