I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
