just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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