Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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