Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
