i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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