She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
