You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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