I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
