what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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