is your mom at the bar?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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