I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
