Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
