No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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