I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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