Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
