I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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