hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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