So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
