Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Porn is love you can see.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
