I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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