When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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