that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
