So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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