he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
