ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
