I accidentally burped into my bong.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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