I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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