dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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