How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
