I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
