Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
