Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
