end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
