Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
