Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
