I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it's like iHOP with fire
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
