I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
