In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
