I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Its about making memories worth repressing
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
