Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
