Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
