they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
