how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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