around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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