I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
