Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
