worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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