I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
